bitterdiva

Might as well face it, I'm addicted to love

Hello my name is bitterdiva and I am an infatuation addict.

I am also a magnet for the unattainable.

And, I fall very easily for them.

When I was younger, I just resigned myself to the fact that I have a lot of people that I just crush on. Then I met my husband, the first night we met I pretty much knew it was meant to be. Ten years later, we're finally walking our separate paths.

Now that I'm older, wiser, and significantly hotter, I'm back where I started from. Exploring the world of the opposite sex, trying to figure out what works for me, what doesn't. What I think works for me obviously doesn't but I continuously fall back into the familiar pattern of falling for the unattainable.

First it was Georgia boy. God I actually think I loved him. I learned a lot about my self during the four or five months of interaction we had. I also learned a lot about my own sexuality. I learned that I'm definitely submissive sexually as opposed to my waking life where I am the dominant, pant-wearing bitch that I am.

Secretly, I find myself softer, more desiring of curling up in the arms of my partner. This is different in my waking life because I try to present myself as cold-hearted and strong. A facade that only those very close to me know as being just that.

I am a sincere person searching for that one that will brighten the darkest days, warm the coldest one, and hold me tight when tears shed from my eyes. Lately, I could fill a lake with the amount have fallen unto my bosom.

Now I'm missing someone else, bound to my word. Giving him space to think about the trials and the pu pu platter life just handed to him. It's difficult for me to not be there for someone when I feel they need it the most. For me, I cannot fathom not having a confidant to communicate fears and sorrows to and receive advice in order to make everything better.

I need to be strong, evolve, forget, move on. I need to stop falling victim to my heart.

11:14 PM

Comments

Posted by: insanewon at November 11, 2008 09:34 PM

Posted by: insanewon at November 11, 2008 09:37 PM

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