bitterdiva

October 07, 2003

Friday attitude on a Tuesday

This week I’ll be commencing a world series in my office: I’ll be bringing a bat and the losers will be beaten, literally. Then there’s futility, when one says F utility and makes me feel as if I’m in purgatory with the anxiousness of anticipating winning an eternal holiday in hell. I am seriously contemplating a lobotomy for myself so people will know how it feels on the opposite end of unintelligence.

Several odd thoughts today for which I need to hunt down answers or express:
1. In olden days, I’m talking pre-1920’s did hookers only turn tricks 26-27 days out of the month or were men adamant enough to not care?
2. Do Siamese twins each have their own social security number? And if they were capable of functioning on their own, do employers have to accommodate their physical disability, and do they get paid as one person or two?
3. Listerine Pocketpaks™ are made by Pfizer and so are Zoloft, Sudafed, and Viagra – wouldn’t it be great if Pfizer put them out in pocket packs for instantaneous happiness and relief. LSD Pocketpaks could really enhance a Phish show and think of the hilarity that would ensue if your friends mistakenly took a strip in attempt of freshening up their funk.

The end world dreams were on hiatus last evening. I had some weird ones, but thankfully I didn’t wake up from them drenched in my own perspiration sucking wind faster than a jet engine. The three ones I did have over the weekend were: annihilation of Manhattan through explosions and ricin gas; release of genetically engineered virus to the level of e-bola via insects, and the collapse of civilization via enslavement by people’s respective governments.

 

Comments

No more West Wing and Michael Crichton movies for you! ;)

Posted by: texasyankee at October 7, 2003 09:30 PM

I was wondering about the social security and being paid once or twice thing myself. That's how I stumbled onto this page. Email me with the answer if anyone knows it!!

Posted by: jeremy at December 5, 2003 10:28 AM

maybe they ony share social security #s if they share a brain, or somthing like that.

Posted by: plagued by question at January 21, 2004 03:55 PM

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