bitterdiva

Orgasm in the City

Here it is, proof that I finally met the sexiest author around. I would also like to point out two things, one: Yoda met Neil too; and two: you can see the tray of Halloween cookies I made for the event.

So how did everything go down? Successful is the first thing I can think of but more importantly, fuckingly perfect (or orgasmic). Kris and I took the 7:34 train into NYC to arrive at 9:12. We hopped on the 7 to Times Square, picked up the Q going in the wrong direction and ended up at 28th st. and 7th Ave. Walked around the block to only discover we had to just cross the street to pick up the train going the right way. Got on, got off at 55th when we should have gotten the 49th street.

We made it to the Equitable Center at 10:26, picked up Patrick's birthday present to Kris which was Sandman Endless Nights. Stepped into line and got our green happy bands with our numbers on them. We were 117 and 118. Then we were herded into the auditorium where we sat third row on the left section, 4th seat in. So we were about 20 feet away from Neil. I audiotaped the entire presentation so I can drool later basking in the glory that is his voice.

Neil talked a bit about the artists that worked on EN and about Sandman in general. He read 15 portraits of Despair and the poem Mr. Crazy Hair (a fantastic humorous poem in honour of his daughter Maddy). Afterwards he did about 15 minutes of Q&A and that portion of the day was over. We were then to go into line and wait for practically eternity.

The signing began at 12:40pm. One of the NY is Book Country people said to 14 year old girls sitting behind us that it would take about 30 minutes for us to be signed. I turned around to them and said, she obviously hasn't been to a Neil signing before and it would be about an hour and half until they got to us. So Kris and I sat and waited, and waited, and waited some more with the occasional pee break and smoke break.

The line starts to move faster after the first hour and eventually kris gets to see Neil. I take a picture of the two of them and I have to think that I was more excited to see Kris meet Neil than he was. Then it's me. I walk up to Neil and said, "Since you gave me a cookie at the signing last year I would like to return the favour and give you some cookies." He perks up and says, "were you one of the very tired people there?" Saying yes I hand over the cookies. He gets thanks me, his staff swarm over with scissors to cut open the cellophane wrapping. He remarks how they should be put out for the other people in line and I say something about that's what they're there for. He grabs one of the Hershey kisses and his assistants take some of the cookies.

Then I ask him if he wouldn't mind taking a picture with Yoda and he asks me if I would also like to be in the picture, which I couldn't refuse since I get to crouch right next to The Man. Picture taken, 1602 and Wolves In the Walls signed and numerous complements about the ornamentation and presentation of the cookies later, I walk away float away to put all my shit back together. I don't think the shit-eating grin left my face for the rest of the day.

Afterwards I called up Mr. Kris to check on his current location and to head over to Heartland Brewery and wait it out for him and his friend from hs, Lisa. Lunch was damn good, I had a burger with cheddar cheese and mashed potatoes and two pints of their Smilin' Pumpkin Ale. I don't eat fries anymore since I get ill from them since the GB surgery so I opt for mashed potatoes and they're always ten million times better than icky fries. The waiter, who we could not understand a single word of, brought us over 8 samplers of their beers which were all damn tasty. My favourite beers were the Stumpkin (pumpkin and stout), Belgium ale, and their Wheat.

Lunch eaten, beers drank, and Lisa heading out early, the three Xrises of the Apolcalypse head on back to their respective trains with catching a little more time together on the subway back. It was a bloody damn good time being in the city, seeing Neil, hanging out with Mr. Kris (if only for a couple of hours), and heading back home with several hours left of the day to reflect, drink beers, and watch the Miss America Pageant.

Which brings me to this: When did the Miss America deal get so fucked up? The five contestents were not attractive, the only one with real talent was Ms. Wisconsin with her cello playing (the other four forcibly sang their way through the talent competition), and who gave Tom Bergeron permission to be seen off the set of Hollywood Squares? Honestly, the Quiz portion of the competition might have been an homage to his career with HS, but it seemed more like a, "Let's See How Dumb Pagentry Bitches Are" Quizshow. Granted these women are not the pinnacle of genius in the country but some of them could be intelligent. In fact, Ms. Wisconsin graduated from medical school so you know the hamster is still running on the wheel up there regardless if she came in last place. All I have to say about the over appearance of these women is: the judges secretly replaced all the stylists with those on crack from the 80's. All the dresses were ugly, the makeup was clownlike and the hair was downright awful - I'm talking like future Newscaster awful. My sister even remarked on how much like a car wreck it was, it's horrible but you can't stop staring.

05:15 PM

Comments

Posted by: rm at September 21, 2003 06:07 PM

Posted by: mersidotes at September 22, 2003 08:35 AM

Posted by: bitterdiva at September 22, 2003 08:41 AM

Posted by: Groundzero at September 22, 2003 11:13 AM

Posted by: patd at September 22, 2003 01:41 PM

Posted by: texasyankee at September 22, 2003 06:56 PM

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