bitterdiva

Holiday Hooplah

It's getting to be that time of year. Full of cracked out holiday songs, spiked egg nog (is there any other way?), x-gates tighter than a sardine can, shopping, fud, and helping the post office beef up their employees by sending cards. I have decided that if you want a card from me this year, and you're farily certain I don't have your bloody address, I am requesting that you e-mail me it. Hey, you may even be surprised with one. That's sort of an idiotic statement, if you give me the addy you'll be certain of a card, but then it wouldn't be a surprise now would it.

I was contemplating lining up all the cats and taking a picture of their brown eyes and photoshopping santa hats on them. Nothing brightens my day like a big ole catbutt in my face. =)

So in two days, it'll be thanksgiving. A time of feasting, a time for relaxing, a time for being stuck in a snow storm on your 3 hour trip home, and a time for getting drunk so you don't murder your aunt when she boasts about her wealth. It's also a time where we're supposed to reflect upon our lives and be thankful for where we are and how fortunate things are. So without further ado, my list of what I'm thankful for:

Black, chocolate, cats, insane relatives, cracked out roommates, drunken friends, intelligent coworkers, the middle finger, Hello Kitty, tiramisu, british-irish-scotish accents, and snow!

What I'm not thankful for are assholes, bipolar ex-boyfriends dating cumdumpsters, SUV owners in the snow, people who never get a clue, lazy slacker moochers, 90 degree 100% humidity weather, and people who forget who their friends are when they move away or get a significant other!

No prayers | 12:27 PM

The wrath of a furious and bitter diva…

In regards to planetmofo: yes, I was the financier. It was me who didn’t want it to die because it meant a lot to those around me. From re-registering the domain to hosting it, it was an example of my devotion to something that someone close to me believed in. Never once in my life have I ever asked for simple thanks, asked for gratitude, or asked for payment. I gave freely of myself so that perhaps everyone’s life wasn’t such a huge flaming pile of poop. Times changed and quickly some changes had to be made, I had to drop additional domains from the server because it became costly and I was creating my own.

Mofo accounts were free for all, cov nor I ever asked for anything in return. Yes, I admit he was the technical background of it, setting up accounts for people, because after all, mofo was his (and still is). He’s the leader of this morbid, sordid group and I love him for it. I just lurk around in the background like a goddess knowing all but not speaking, sort of like Barnaby in Dogma (and cov Matt Damon?). It really hurts me to have several people bitch at me because I’m the only one accessible during the day when something bad happened. Because I’m cov’s significant other, that makes me all knowing of why and what happened, and I’m the one that you immediately turn for some answers. Thanks. I appreciate knowing that for every other day when things were fine you don’t have the decency to have a conversation with me and ask what’s up in my life, but when the shit hits the fan, you immediately bitch to me about the lack of warning.

In case now you feel bad and are wondering what’s going on in my life, I’ll tell you. I’m bummed. Really, really, bummed. I found myself curled up in a ball Saturday night crying hysterically in the kitchen. I attempt to hide all my pain from everyone because I don’t want people to think I’m crazy or overly emotional. I am also not looking for sympathy either. I’m sure your lives suck as well, and for me to be all egotistical like mine’s the only one important, is wrong. I always will remain around to listen to you complain if it helps you out. I always have. Just don’t bitch to me about mofo.

5 prayers | 08:46 AM

Bitterdiva in South Park

If I happened to be a resident of south park, this is what I would look like.

2 prayers | 02:05 PM

Some maintenance

If any of you mofos read this site, back up all your entries, I thought I had cancelled my hosting which mofo is still on so it may go before cov gets around to doing it for you. But seeing as all of you are grown individuals, I trust you can do this.

It’s November the 19th. There are (not including next week but including this week) three weeks of class left. A short story is due this week - rough draft that will be the basis of the final story. We are on Program 7 of 10, but seeing there are only 3 weeks left, 10 looks to be thrown out of the window (hopefully). I’m running out of abilities, caffeine is looking promising, and my office is making me ill again. I wake up, I’m fine, I drive to work, I’m fine, I sit down at my computer, and an excruciating headache develops as if Lord Voldermort is walking around my building putting the Crucio curse on my sinuses.

I have found that when given the creative freedom to write a short story, my brain becomes overwhelmed at all the options that lay before me. I think I’m going to take my Fallen Angel piece and expand it. I just have to recall every event that happens when an individual awakens.

As for my programming capabilities, I know realize that I am no programmer. I don’t like programming, I’ll leave that to those who can do it much more productively. I think somewhere along the timeline of the class I fell into a funk and trying to escape is rather hard. That is what happens though when you only meet once a week.

No prayers | 09:23 AM

Blog Meetup

Unfortunately I won't be able to go to the meetup, I realized when looking at the date, that I am in class during that time. I would be interested in going if the time was later. I get out at 9pm.

No prayers | 12:34 PM

Begging: an example in achieving pity from financial aid

As a youth, I dreamed of achieving many goals in my life. One of them was graduating from a college and obtaining a job within my field of study. Today I look back on the child I was and realize the world was much simpler then. I knew only that people graduated from high schools and then went on to college because it would help them obtain a job.

I knew nothing of affordability and expenses; those topics were pertinent to parents, not children. As I matured I slowly began to realize that education costs money and there are occasions when people don’t have the budget or the income to afford it. My educational endeavors changed dramatically at the beginning of my teenage years when my father became ill and retired due to disability.

It was only through my father’s hospitalizations that I learned which direction I wanted my life to precede. I became interested in pharmaceuticals to better understand how the various medications administered to him would help his condition. I went on to college with that goal set in my mind, but failed due to the lack of financial aid to remain an active student.

After leaving college and setting up residence in New York, I learned a new lesson in life. In order to find a job within one’s field of study, one needs an education. In order to receive an education, one needs the financial means. Without one, the other is impossible, or nearly as such. I found a job that paid decently but with at least $45,000 in college loans and collectors’ seeking repayment, paying for college is an arduous task.

No prayers | 01:28 PM

:.:.::..:.:::..:.::..:..::.::.:.:::.

He warily awoke, his tongue unfavorably sticking to the roof of his mouth. The taste was absolutely horrible, thinking that this must be the taste of a small animal dying in one’s mouth. The haze still clouded his eyesight and could feel the slime and crust caked on his lashes, lids, and the corners of his eyes. His head pounded and could hear every beat of his heart in his ears. Hangovers, this must be what they’re referring to when they speak of one.

He closed his eyes, mentally taking note of each extremity. He wiggled his toes, his fingers, flexed the muscles in his calves, thighs, buttocks, forearms and upper arms. His body was awakening and his mind shifting from the dream state to current consciousness. He was definitely not a well man this morning. He ran through his memory, trying to recall the previous nights events in search of reason for his decrepit physical state. There was none.

He couldn’t recall being out at a bar, nor being at a party. He searched for something early in the night, perhaps television or dinner, or of the slight chance a phone call, but there was nothing. His stomach pained, a drawn out twinge screaming for some nourishment. He draped an arm over his abdomen, feeling the taught skin and ripples from the perfectly formed muscles underneath.

No prayers | 08:09 AM

Fiery Red

Sometimes when an image hits me, I have to create it before I lose it. I now have art hanging up in my cubicle.

2 prayers | 02:16 PM