bitterdiva

It was only four but it feels like eternity

This week has been the epitome of suck for me. I’ve been on a wild goose chase for Endodontists in my dental insurance plan. Today I finally get the answer that I was really hoping I wasn’t going to get, there are no endodontists participating in my plan. I have to pay this money up front and then submit a claim to the insurance company hoping to get a good portion of the money back. I’m going to be rather bitchy and broke for the next couple of months, luckily my parents are going to help me out some.

I’m heading home for the weekend. I need to get the fuck out of dodge and spend some quality time by the pool relaxing with my family. The highlight that I’m looking forward to is watching Harry Potter (again) on the 37” television with a bitching surround system. It will be like Alan Rickman is standing right in front of me. Unfortunately I won’t be able to wind up masturbation month with an encore presentation… or maybe I will at 3 am.

So that’s it. This hellish week is over and I’m heading down to Connecticut in 5 minutes. I am not looking forward to driving in the severe thunderstorms that are going along the same path as I am. Take care folks, I’ll see you all on Monday. Behave yourselves bitches!

2 prayers | 04:25 PM

Choose Your Destruction

In our various paths of life all of us are forced to make decisions. Some of them are simple; some of them are too difficult to comprehend life-altering choices. I believe that one of those difficult choices are approaching quickly for me. Granted it’s not related to matters of the heart, which school to attend, but rather I want to extract a tooth or get a root canal.

Now some people would look at the two hairy options and say, get it pulled be done with the matter, never worry about it again. One making that decision has to bear in mind that once a tooth is gone, it’s gone for good; we’re not sharks with four rows of teeth that regenerate. It’s practically a limb; once a limb is removed you have the wonderful option of leaving it missing or a prosthetic device. Once teeth are removed they can be replaced by a bridge or if you’re wealthy (or have good insurance - implants). A root canal (if the tooth can be saved) is an intensive procedure that disconnects the nerve (tooth root) from the jaw and tissue. Luckily it’s not painful – the wonders of lidocaine but it is a several hour (most likely two) procedure that is just the most disgusting thing an oral surgeon has to go through.

I think if my tooth can be saved, I’m opting for the root canal. That and the last one that I had they gave me drugs for it. This time, I believe I’ll try and persuade them from codeine since I’m immune to the painkilling effects. I love my interesting brain chemistry; I really should be in a lab and tested on.

Other matters of the day I have a script for a penicillin-esque drug, finally my syphilis will be cured and I can set up my red light again. I really don’t have syphilis but I do have red lights but this isn’t Amsterdam and I don’t have other freedoms that Amsterdam offers it’s residence.

So more on the Harry Potter DVD fiasco which turns out to be less fiasco and more excitement. I had given up on buy.com sending me the DVD for the release date and drove over to Best Buy since cov informed me of the motherload of DVDs they’re selling. I saw online they had it for the same price of buy.com and I figure what the hell, only 8% more for the NY tax. It turns out that CompUSA had it for ten bucks and Best Buy was matching the price. I tell the guy at the little kiosk that he’s the man and walk off springingly to the cashier. I was able to get my brothers present cheaper than I thought all because of my need for instant gratification.

No prayers | 12:58 PM

Number Two

Lately I’ve been having some surreal dreams. This weekend’s theme was men and getting it on. Most people know me for my real odd dreams. Last night I dreamt I was dating Robert Wagner. He was vacationing down the street from my parents in the house of their good friend and neighbor. There was nothing too different about being with him in my dream, the only problem people had was the significant age difference.

Cov gave me my grades over the phone today. I rocked the Short Story class, which I already knew but I got a “B” in my organic chemistry class. Booyah! I can’t express my excitement enough. I am doing jigs and reels in the aisles at work. Wow, talk about lack of content in those statements.

I am for the most part an instant gratification type of girl. I want things now or done the faster way. I had pre-ordered the Harry Potter DVD that was supposedly released today figuring that the company would get the DVDs in early and ship them out today or for today, after all what’s the purpose of pre-ordering when you can go out and buy the damn thing. Well it says on my account that the status is on order. So my question is this old information or new information and when am I going to get the bloody thing. If it’s not in my hands Friday or said that it’s been shipped during the day Thursday, I am going out and buying the damn thing. Screw this shizzit of waiting for a package. It’s for my brothers birthday, I think he would be rather upset if when I go home to Connecticut wasn’t carrying his much awaited movie.

1 prayer | 04:01 PM

Fantastical Expectations

She stepped out onto the deck looking up into the night sky. The lack of light pollution revealed all the stars in the sky one simply couldn’t see in the city. The freezing wind blew against her body chilling it as she panned down from the heavens to the water below. The soft waves lapped the shore in a serenity that she had been missing from her the many years her aunt’s cottage had been sold.

He had followed her out onto the deck wrapping his arms around her shielding her from the bitter wind before it raped her body of all it’s warmth. She felt his breath against her neck as he kissed it gently. His fingers were intertwined with hers as their hands rested against her belly. She could feel his hard cock pressing against her back and as she realized how excited he was to finally be with her alone, she could feel the twinge herself that accompanies new infatuation. As she stood there looking out at the sky she thought of how the evening would progress and almost shamefully began to blush.

He released his grip from her and slowly caressed her body until finally landing upon her hips to which he began to ease her into facing him. His hands then found her soft face and slightly lifted her jaw to face his eyes. She leaned in closer to him to find his soft supple lips pressed against hers kissing them gently. She reciprocated the motion and entwined her tongue with his in a moment that, to them, the world slowed down to elongate the perfect moment.

1 prayer | 02:15 PM

Greetings and Salutations:

Great, you reproduced, here’s a $2.99 card in honor of your event expressing some feeling from me to you to give the impression that I truly care and love you.

I am not a goddess of words that praise and flow and bring tears to eyes of those with whom I am not familiar. Getting me to write a card for a cousin who just recently had a baby is more painful than the root canal I had done last year. Why are we forced to go out and buy chopped down trees that have been decorated with words and mail them to our relatives and friends? They know we know they had a baby, haven’t they already reaped the rewards for having coital relations?

There’s a baby shower for us to shower them with gifts for their new bundle of joy. Then there’s some form of religious ceremony, in my case a Christening, that brings forth more presents. There’s birthdays and holidays and other events for us to think of them and to buy them cute little booties and Legos and
Star Wars merchandise.

Not thinking of a single thing and throwing out all ideas I resort to calling my sister, the one that I would often beg to write my school entrance essays and my valedictorian speech. She’s the mastermind behind all the words, she has a better grasp of the English language, and she cares.

After expressing my own dislike for the situation my mother put me in (after all she’s the one that mailed me this card that I feel has no bearance on my position of not being a parent and not knowing what a child’s touch is like) she calls me Oscar (as in the Grouch) and proceeds to say she is going to have to work on me. I guess I am a lot like my father and brother in that aspect or maybe it’s just that I am way too intellectual to allow some stupid event to cloud my judgment of sending a congratulations card.

My position on breeding: stop doing it people! I don’t believe that we should be rejoicing the reproduction of humans. There’s too many people inhibiting this planet and we all could do with not allowing some of us to procreate. Though I will say that I would rather have my cousin and his wife to have a child than some illiterate toothless crack-whore down at the port.

No prayers | 03:52 PM

Pedantically chugging through the day

I may not be an English major, nor would I call myself a grammar nazi but apparently my boss trusts my editing capabilities enough to update the online database whilst she's out of the office gardening.

I don't think I've discussed my second half of my job here. At first I didn't think I would enjoy being a "secretary" along with being a database/web person. Being the 17th day of this duality job thing I've come to the conclusion that it isn't so much as a secretary but an assistant that often works with database and web stuff.

The majority of my day is spent updating records online and in a database, updating one website and watching over a couple records as an admin in another one. I also got to talk on the phone with several artists today. Next year I even get to help out at an Odyssey of the Mind program and a potential judge if I so wish.

I'm finally getting through this torturous week of pms and eventually I'll calm down enough to concentrate on a multitude of things.

1 prayer | 04:23 PM

Intellectual Erotica

I’ve most likely mentioned this before but geniuses are a real turn on for me. There’s nothing more exciting than an erudite male spinning a web of sentences that sparkle in the spotlight of conversation. Or an intellectual piece of writing sparkling on a person’s blog-esque site.

There have been many things that I’ve lamented over in my life, one of the main ones is losing people who I care deeply about. One comes to mind that fits in the category above. The one once known as asshole has transcended to a different category for which I do not have a name. It’s seems rather pathetic for me to dedicate an entry to him, so I won’t.

The only reason that this comes to the forefront of my mind is the dawning of the realization that I have known this person textually for two years this month. I dare not think that a failed romantic relationship is excuse enough for complete dissolution of communication between the two of us. Thus I say this, if your punkass is reading this and you want to communicate with myself, talk to me. I simply refuse to be the carrier of conversation and the one who obviously has the testicular fortitude to attempt a conversation. I lay the cards on the table, if you fold so be it; if you call, I will answer.

2 prayers | 11:51 AM

It's Friday!

It's Friday, I ain't got shit to do, I ain't got no where to go. It's BBQing time. That's right, today I kick off the summer in true fashion. We be bbqing up in here.

Have a good weekend bitches, this one is going to be a mad phat party! I just hope my liver forgives me on Monday.

1 prayer | 12:36 PM

Because we all need a little Ralph action in the morning…

No, I’m not referring to the wonderful action of reverse peristalsis; I’m referring to Ralph Wiggum. That crazy little mofo gets me laughing whenever he’s in The Simpsons. Sunday’s episode was the ultimate Ralph experience, cov reminded me of the two quotes: "tomorrow we get to learn what 5 minus 3 is" and "you remind me of my mom after a box of wine." Also in the episode Ralph pees his pants for no apparent reason. Although it hasn’t been updated since 2001, here’s a site with tons of Ralph quotes. I think my favorite one has to be from this season or was it last... "sugar makes me both angry and happy."

Speaking of the weekend, it started off with a run to the beverage store that ended with a litre of vodka, a 6 of Bicardi silver, Blind Faith, and Dead Man's Ale (very good and it features a medieval skeletal pope); then we went to the market to pick up supplies for the next day, the order ended up with lemonade mix, stickers, pint glasses, and knives (6 of them to be precise). I think the cashier was highly amused. It's a pity though that I didn't include vasoline, duct tape, and whipped cream; that would've perfected the order.

Saturday was a clusterfuck that ended up with me drinking my happy lemonade in the mall parking lot. I spent 1.5 hours driving around the park searching for a parking spot that ended up with me dropping off two of my friends. Though bane suggests a new action figure: Road Rage X; comes with a fog horn, a gigantic foam middle finger, and in the fashion of the Green Goblin, poop bombs.

A'ight blah! It's Wednesday, and we all know that Wednesday is Organic Chemistry Final Day! I love waking up at 4:45 to study, except that I don't think I achieved too much studying. I'm tired and loopy (always the best way to take a final other than high or drunk) but I at least got Dunkies (onion bagel with chive cream cheese) and to work 15 minutes before I had to be here. The sad part is I already did my work and I'm praying that I don't get anymore so I can study. The good thing is, I at least know where I'm supposed to meet my prof to take the exam rather than the last time I took the class.

Oooh story time. So I was taking my ochem 2 final one bright and happy day during my sophomore year at rpi. I went to one building and waiting 15 minutes before realizing that the exam wasn't there. I ran to the library to check the schedule and found out it was across campus in the Amory. I book there arriving one hour into the exam. I take out my handy dandy enema kit and slap that on my section of the table. I figured I'd need that when I was done getting reamed in my ass by syntheses and mechanisms that I didn't know nor would I ever know during the final. The sacrifice of the virgin goat didn't appease the gods of partial credit. However, I still got a "C" in the class. Thank god for the bell curve. To fail the class you either had to not show up to the exams or get a -12 on several of them.

5 prayers | 08:54 AM

Bitch you ain't nothing but a geek

So let’s see, it’s May 10th, that means it’s Bono’s birthday. Happy birthday you hot, Irish, piece of arse.

I was conversing with a friend of mine yesterday, telling them about my recent sleep related troubles. He starts to go into some spiel about, “I’m not a medical professional, but I’m marrying one and blah, blah, blah.” I may be bitter but I know a jackass when I talk to one. I don’t give a shit about ending your single life and marrying a woman. We’re all happy you’re getting married, because you need a mother to take care of you but must you constantly mention the fact you are getting married in every conversation?

A colleague of mine in my organic lab is getting married the 18th of this month; I believe he just proposed to her sometime this past winter. Last night was the first time he mentioned something about it. I wished him luck and congratulations and that was it. I think most people should be more like that, don’t mention an already known fact every conversation you have with a person.

Speaking of organic labs, I’m really, really going to miss my professor. It’s the first time in my history that I got along with a professor so well and was just able to shoot the shit with them. The guy’s a freaking genius and his intelligence and personality are on par for being a high member of planetmofo. Last night while checking out of my drawer he said he was going to miss me and mentioned something about going out for ‘za or Chinese. That alone made my day.

After leaving the lab with a warm and fuzzy feeling deep down in the cockles of my heart, I yet again began thinking of what I want to do with myself and where I want to go. I wished several colleagues good luck in their various endeavors. It’s somewhat hard for me to let go of people I spent a year with working closely on experiments, even if it was the fact I was helping them out. Which for me, is a dramatic change from RPI. At RPI I was clueless, the bottom of my class, depressed,and constantly annoying my lab mates with inane questions of theoretical yields and melting points. So maybe I don’t want to go back to RPI, but it seems ridiculous for me to not finish up with only a year left, then lies the question of funding. RPI’s hella expensive and I don’t think it’s a good place for me. Maybe I should go to the college of pharmacy and actually do what I really want to do with myself. Or should I just get my chem. tech. degree from the community college and then work on going to the college of pharmacy.

Once I become a pharmacist I can look at my friend and say, hey, I am a medical professional and next time when you talk to me, please call me doctor. My only revenge that I have planned for my stupid non-immediate family and those enemies of mine is that I’ll have a doctorate degree. I’ll be the first doctor in my family; I’ll make my parents so proud of me.

5 prayers | 09:44 AM

Hoser, eh?

In an attempt to further understand my northern neighbors, those wacky residents of Canadia, I would like a Canadian/American English dictionary. Full of idioms and hoser-speak. I was searching the net for something like this but the only thing I was actually able to find was some hoser's rendition.

I think Canadian's are sechzi. I've dated one, he was sechzi. Maybe I should preface that with I want a ice hockey playing Canadian goon. Trust me, not all Canadians play hockey much to my dismay. Understandably, if someone said to me I play hockey and knew everything about hockey, I couldn't distinguish between a lie and the truth. Especially separated by a border, couple of hundreds of miles, and the fact that it was summer and there being virtually no ice.

So yeah, any Canadian English speaking mofos out there that actually read this pathetic site (which I still have yet to redesign) send me a list of all your terms with the American equivalent. And if you are a sechzi canadian hockey playing mofo, send me a picture so I may lust after you for days on end.

3 prayers | 01:50 PM

Woke up this morning, I got myself a gun…

So it’s now day four of the hormonally induced depression and general craziness. It’s also my parents, 33rd Anniversary. It’s Friday so why aren’t I excited? Oh I don’t know, it’s not looking to be a nice day.

Despite the fact that ever since I voted the kittens off of my island or out of it rather, I have been sleepless in the Captial Region. My cat and his constant desire to be by my side and talking to me as I try to sleep, cramps, and nightmares. In order to ease the pain of my severe abdominal discomfort, I had taken over the course of a day, roughly 16 hours, 2800mg of ibuprofen. Anyone knowing me knows my friend of 10 years, gastritis; and that it was the most horrible idea I’ve ever had. Beating out the time I stood up in a rowboat and swamping it. I was plagued with the inability to down any solid food including the ever so bland, chicken soup. Pepto became my friend and the toilet my salvation. The only thing better than both would be curling up in my bed waiting for death to abolish all the pain.

Yesterday was the second to last lab and Tuesday was my last organic chemistry lecture. Despite all the stress, all the negativity, I really am going to miss that class and more importantly my professor. For the first time in my life I actually felt like I belonged somewhere and apart of a community. My professor had faith in me as a student and he treated me as a person, not a walking bag of water that’s giving him money so he has to teach me something. The man is a genius, I’m always amazed by his grasp of not only organic chemistry, but of English grammar and his vast vocabulary, which makes my head spin. My intelligence actually increased in that class and not decreased, which is rare given the fact it’s one of the hardest sciences around.

It’s Friday, woo! I already know it’s not going to be a fun weekend. I’m still in pain and the secretary is out due to car problems. The server shat the bed and I lost files for the second job that I was given here. Luckily the woman I am taking over for still has all the files on her local computer and all is not lost. I’m still confused over everything though and the stress isn’t helping my stomach. I wonder if I can pawn off some of the work that I was given due to the fact that I have a condition and if I become overwhelmed my stomach riots quietly beneath the skin.

However, ulcers, gastritis, and stomach conditions are a good method of weight loss. You become ill if you eat, so you don’t want to eat, you become anorexic and lose several pounds. Just remember to eat a cracker now and then and lots of water or else by not eating you aggravate your condition which leads to chest pains, anxiety you’re having a heart attack, and more pain. As long as I’m not seeing blood in any bodily fluid/waste, I’m doing pretty fine.

So I have two departments I am answering the phones for, and I haven’t a clue what I’m doing in one of them. I really would like to thank the individual responsible for turning my job life upside down and giving me the great big ole hoopajube up my butt.

1 prayer | 09:42 AM

Three little kitties

Fluke Scout and Fuzzy
So I finally got around to uploading the pics from my cam. I love my little kitties, but they'll soon be fleeing the nest.

I also got a shot of my kitty PooPoos. I'll be posting more soon.

No prayers | 12:01 PM

"It's nothing 800mg of Ibuprofen won't cure"

I preface this update with a please forgive me, I’m hormonal and out of my mind.

I don’t know if it’s just been the shitty weather, whether it’s my hormonal system, but I feel like I’m losing my mind yet again. I feel stuck in the middle between worse and shit. I am a person that needs to let things just remain in the past. Dredging up old feelings about anything drives me into a frenzy until I completely lose it and end up smearing my feces on a wall.

I have exactly 15 days until my last final, wonderful Organic Chemistry! I’m finished with The Short Story with a resounding Hallelujah! Luckily for me I managed to pull out of my scientific ass an “A” in an English literature class. How I did it, I wouldn’t have a clue. My papers, I believe, are sub par and I lack flowery language and descriptions and insight to produce a masterpiece. My thought pattern is logical and I base all my ‘interpretations’ on facts. My professor even commented that one of my papers were simply logical. I just want to say that sometimes a kid riding on his rocking-horse is just a kid riding on his rocking-horse not some euphemism about masturbation.

Speaking of masturbation, May is National Masturbation Month. So guys, do your bodies good and get those arms going! May is also a month to other national causes, such as: Bicycle Safety Month, Scholarship Month, Book Month, and Mental Health Month. Every bloody month is home to some type of cause and it’s really annoying me of all the observances we should have. So here’s my list of what each month should be:
January – National Better Yourself Month
February – National Beat Yourself Up for not Bettering Yourself Month
March – National Summer’s Around the Corner You Better Lose Weight Month
April – National All These Showers are Depressing Me Month
May – National Slack Off from Classes Month
June – National Pissed Off About Summer School/Classes Month
July – National National Month along with National I’m Moving to Alaska or Canada Month
August – National I Don’t Want to Go Back to School Month
September – National Angst Month
October – National Horror Movie Month
November – National Depression Month accompanied with National Serotonin Month
December – National I Hate These Fucking Holidays Month

So it’s May, where the hell have the last five months gone? The last thing I clearly remember is puking my guts out in a toilet New Year’s Eve. Now it’s May? I thoroughly enjoyed the lack of snow and mild temps but it’s May and I’m still wearing sweaters and long sleeves. I want bright sunny days in the upper 60’s or beautiful thunderstorms or pouring monsoon rainy days.

I want a lot of things. I want my heart to stop aching. I want to get my degree. I want my financial status to be better. I want these fucking cramps to end so I don’t have to remain in the fetal position for 3 more days. Most importantly, I want a vacation.

No prayers | 11:32 AM