bitterdiva

20 ounces to caffeination

Five and a half hours of sleep, a shower, a litre of DP, 20 ounces coffee (chocolate raspberry of course) and an eight-hour workday lie between the weekend and myself. I will conquer the day!

For an update, my mother is doing well. She went in for an angiogram yesterday and found that the blockage she had was due to some scar tissue and was going to be treated with diet and medicine. Much relief to all my family members, but that still means my brother and father have to get off their arse and help out around the house.

I was thinking this morning about various things. I become very contemplative when the serotonin levels are low due to lack of sleep. Surprisingly, I’m happy – for the moment. Anyways, at this point in the day I started thinking about asshole (the original) and I think I finally forgave him. I have nothing bad to say about him, sure the underlying theme of our break up was still lame, but it wasn’t his fault. Really. Well okay, maybe it could have been avoided, but I’m not going dwell on that, because I’m trying to be optimistic and understanding.

I was searching for him on the net this morning maybe finding an e-mail so I can send him a message and see how he’s doing. Found nothing, except for a résumé of his that he posted about 8 months ago, no addy. I hope he’s well and I hope he’s happy with his girlfriend. Maybe both of them complemented each other so well that they’ll live a happy life together. Or maybe I’m delusional in my current state of sleep deprivation.

Then I started thinking about this guy I had an immense crush on. He was one of the reasons that I started hanging out with a certain group of people. He probably knew that I liked him, I just about told everyone (including those with mouths large enough to spread news faster than cnn.com). I was going to send him an e-mail to see how he’s doing and maybe play some catch up.

I’m such a slacker sometimes, I curl up in my own little world and I avoid those that truly mean a lot to me. My friends have stopped hanging around with the group when they (the group) decided they were too cool for us with all their video games, lan parties, and linux geekitude. I occasionally go back and get throttled into the holds of someone’s arms telling me that I shouldn’t be such a stranger. Fuck. I was going to say maybe I’ll go and visit them, but it’s Spring Break this week and they’ll most likely be gone. I have impeccable timing.

Yeah, I definitely think the sleep deprivation is clouding my mind and judgment. I think I need to play with this site a bit and figure out what I want it to do. Have fun kiddies.

09:58 AM

Comments

Posted by: Corey at March 11, 2002 10:11 PM

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